A Brief Analysis Of Light's Name
by WhiteLadyDragon
Summary: L makes an analysis of Light's name. Light loses it to the degree he can lose it before L even gets to share it. Drabble.


_**Disclaimer! **_**All fictional entities featured/ mentioned in this segment belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. **

**Written in response to a certain joke in our fandom concerning a certain character's name. Think nothing of it. Just Light and L, this time...alone and uncut. But don't get any ideas, if you can help it, heh-heh. **

_**A BRIEF ANALYSIS OF LIGHT'S NAME**_

The just-so chilly silence of the monitor room popped to life with the intermittent clicks of Light's mouse and the grinding of Ryuzaki's molars as he destroyed his third slice of coffee cake before washing it down with…coffee.

"Light? I have just made a potentially significant observation."

"Hm? What is it? What have you found?"

As was usually the case with the two, however, this peace was not destined to last as a fresh burst of tension bordering on hatred erupted in the air with the garbled words that Ryuzaki spoke: "It regards your name, Light. I've been analyzing it for some time, now."

_CRASH! _

Light sprang up from his seat so fast that his swivel chair crashed to the floor. Had he not known that Ryuzaki would inevitably strike back—and were his jaw not still tender from their last skirmish not so long ago—he would've very well catapaulted his handcuff-mate clear across the room off his fist, never mind that he would've gone flying with him.

His fists tightening and loosening on the desk, Light snarled, "Hold it right there, Ryuzaki! I know exactly where this is going, and frankly, I'm disappointed in you for even going there."

"Disappointed" was a massive understatement.

Ryuzaki remained frozen in his trademark crouch like a cat on alert, though his default flat expression didn't change. "What do you mean?"

Sore as his jaw was, Light grumbled through gritted teeth, "I've tried so hard to let it roll off my back, but frankly, I'm getting _sick_ of how everyone keeps pointing out what my last name spells backwards. Doesn't anyone have better things to do beyond seeing what names spell in particular directions in hopes that they can find something to make fun of? And also, not only are you insulting me, but you're insulting my family, my lineage. My entire _heritage!_ Would _you_ like it if I mauled _your _family name for my own sick amusement?"

Light's tirade bubbled into a fit of deep breaths for the sake of regaining his composure as he picked up his chair to plop back into his seat. His fingers raked through his normally tidy hair to preen it back into shape.

…

…

…

"I believe _I _should be the disappointed one, Light. Actually, I was going to point out that your name translates to 'Moon Night God.'"

…

…

…

Light was _not_, by any means, going to lose any more face than he already had with an "Oh?" or "Really?" Or let that pesky wave of blood rush to his cheeks.

After another uncomfortably heated bout of silence, Light stiffened his posture as he pulled his chair back into place. "I see. Is that all? Why would you find that significant? No, wait, don't tell me: the fact that I have a coincidentally meaningful name makes it seem all the more likely that I'm Kira."

"We both know that names aren't enough to determine whether one is guilty or not," said Ryuzaki, taking another sip of his coffee like nothing had happened. "But I can't see any harm in filing it for future reference, anyway. Can you?"

…

…

"You know, Light, I for one agree that the backwards spelling of your surname is completely coincidental. But if I didn't know better, I would say that given your reaction, accusing me of trying to 'insult you and your family'…you believe that homosexuality is somehow wrong or shameful."

"Eat more coffee cake, Ryuzaki. Please," Light groaned, his fingers twitching with the urge to either stuff his co-worker's jaws with his knuckles or help himself to another cup of coffee to hold him over.

Said detective rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling. "Of course."

_**END**_


End file.
